We were out for dinner at our usual Monday night spot. When our food came Layton asked that we pray, so we did. We normally pray before dinner at home but it’s not a regular practice when we’re out. He then proceeded to say a “thank you” that he learned at school. Shortly after that he said “we get what we get and we don’t throw a fit“. I found the timing of the comment interesting considering he ordered what he normally orders and nothing was different about it. Seeing as he made the comment at dinner time I figured they were told at school they get whatever food is being served and we don’t throw a fit about it. The nice way of saying “deal with it”. When I asked Layton about it another day I didn’t get a straight answer as to when they said that at school. He said “we get what car we have and don’t get the car that someone else has”, relating to toy cars and you shouldn’t go take someone else’s because you don’t like the one you have. So this comment has stuck with me for several weeks now. I talked about it a little with a fellow father but am still dwelling on it in my mind.
Not knowing the context has perplexed me a little. I can understand the food situation. A childcare center/school has to take into consideration every child’s needs so the food selections are not vast and certainly not custom. I completely understand that. I was a little taken aback when he mentioned the car thing. Instead of saying “we get what we get and we don’t throw a fit” if the child doesn’t like the car they are given, suggest to them to ask another child if they would like to switch, encourage problem solving rather than “deal with it”. This may not work in every scenario and the child may still have to deal with what they have but making an attempt to get what you want and not succeeding builds resilience and develops their ability to control/understand emotions, compared with the feeling that this is what I’ve been given and don’t have a choice. I’m likely taking this to the extreme considering I don’t know what specific scenarios the phrase is used in at school. I’m also not an educator so this is from an outsider’s perspective and I generally will not question their teaching methods as I am not trained as an early-childhood educator.
I have used the phrase against him at home now that I know he’s aware of what it means. I’ve also tried to keep perspective on what I “force” on him. For example, he doesn’t like to pick out his clothes and if he does it’s likely what he wore the day before or something that is dirty. If he doesn’t like what I picked for him I tell him to go pick out what he wants to wear. He usually ends up wearing what I picked out because he brings back something that’s dirty, but I always give him the opportunity to wear what he wants. Same with doing things at home. I ask him what he wants to play rather than tell him what we’re going to play; however, there are times I will tell him no and to pick something else. I always try to provide an explanation if I say no. It’s not always received well but he always gets an explanation.
To summarize, I want him to make choices for himself and know that he has options. I also want to be sure he knows that even if he makes a choice he may not get what he wants. In situations where he is told what he gets he can always choose to have nothing at all. Eventually he will learn to evaluate accepting what is given and the consequence of the alternative, for now he’s a little young to comprehend that.
Now that I have successfully over-complicated a simple phrase, what are your thoughts on it?

I sent this out to my Pints with Pops email group and was quickly informed this is a children’s book. I feel very enlightened. The title is You get what you get by Julie Gassman. It is a fun read and I will definitely be reading it to my son.