What’s in a name?

Posted on July 25, 2018 by Pints with Pops

Pints with Pops.

It can mean several things. I initially chose the name because it seemed attractive to the fatherly audience and would have some appeal to get pops to show up once a month to maybe talk about fatherhood stuff. Backtrack… I chose the name, my wife came up with the name. She was actually instrumental in Pints with Pops becoming a thing. She was the first person I talked in detail with this about and was 100% supportive even though it meant another night I would be away for a few hours. Now that credit has been properly given, back to the name.

Pints with Pops. Appealing to the target audience, gets the point across that we’d have a pint of something (likely a beer), and the likely attendees would be fathers. “With”, this is the key word. I’ve seen “Pints for Pops”. This is not “for”, it is with. Why with? it implies togetherness rather than entitlement. This is a group where we come together and share experiences; it’s intended to be supportive and encouraging, not come and receive something. Pops, synonymous with father or dad. That was the initial thought process that got me to “Pints with Pops”.

I did receive some push back on the name. It does imply the consumption of alcohol. Spouses don’t necessarily think of going out for a beer is the proper way to spend a couple hours away from your family even if it is talking about fatherhood stuff. Another tough sell, we actually talk about fatherhood stuff. We do, it’s legit. Nothing preachy, just experiences. What did your kid do this week? Mine ate sand…

In the end I decided the name was general enough it could withstand the criticisms. I gave coupons for free pints of ice cream at our one year anniversary gathering. Not all pints are beer. It’s simply a unit of measure.

That leads me to the deeper meaning of the name, which I didn’t really stumble upon until several gatherings in. “Pints” ends up being a synonym for everything Pints with Pops is. Think of the British phrase “Let’s grab a pint”. Yes, it means let’s get a beer; but you’re not just getting a beer, you’re getting a beer and having a conversation. You don’t say “let’s grab a pint” when your intention is to over-imbibe, you say it when you want to go out and socialize. Next, the term “half-pint”. This normally refers to a small person, typically a child. That fits perfect as the intention is to talk about our children and experiences we have as father. Lastly, the simple meaning of pint as a unit of measure. I understand it usually references an amount of liquid; however, a pint of information is just as acceptable. It’s my interpretation.

That’s really all the depth I have for you. I explained the importance of “with” earlier. “Pops” has a better ring to it than “Pints with Dads” or “Pints with Fathers”. I’m still searching for the deeper meaning in “Pops”. I am from Wisconsin so it may also refer to a sugary carbonated beverage others call “soda” or those in the south call a “coke”.

Toddler aka Jekyll & Hyde

Posted on July 17, 2018July 25, 2018 by Pints with Pops

Now, I’m not inferring that my son is inherently good then transforms to evil and back again; but there are certainly moments that feel like it.

Today, all of it, was a prime example. He woke up screaming for his momma. I’m sorry son, momma is at work. I leave his room and let him collect himself. I come back and he calmly crawls out of bed, walks over to the rocking chair, looks up at me endearingly, and says “read book, please”. I happily oblige. The remainder of our morning together is rather uneventful and we arrive at daycare without incident. Quite pleasant although it took longer than I had hoped to get him moving as I had an 8 am meeting that I ended up being late for. Then when I was leaving daycare I see a girl offer him a stuffed animal, repeatedly, he clearly did not want the stuffed animal. Rather than saying no and walking away he slaps it out of her hands. Thankfully I was not in the classroom to react but on the other side of the window. From what we were told he had a great day at daycare, go figure.

At home this evening he was in a very pleasant mood. He went to the fridge and got leftover mac ‘n cheese out, sat at the table and happily ate/played with it, and then was finished with it. Mom proceeded to clean up the remnants. All that seems pretty harmless, innocent. Then mom put a couple of pieces of mouthed macaroni in the garbage. Whoa! The world just ended. Full on tantrum and attempted biting of mom’s leg. That’s where it ended. Mom laid down the law then. It took some time and a timeout to explain, educate, and apologize; but, we ended that still going out to dinner. He was a wonderful little boy the rest of the evening. There was a lady at dinner that came and talked with us and told him he had nice hair, he replied “momma nice hair too! Daddy nice hair!” Completely unprompted, such a sweet boy. It’s evenings like this that make you forget all the challenges he threw at us today.

After running around the house and doing sprints across the driveway, at his command, we ended the night with a popsicle. I sat in the chair next to him at the table and could see the joy in his eyes, just staring off. My heart and soul have never been happier. Then, “daddy, bug on the window”. Good night.

Biting the Ranch Fruit Cup

Posted on July 12, 2018July 25, 2018 by Pints with Pops

Layton is just about two years and three months old. It’s a pretty exciting time in our household. He talks, runs, climbs, and is super adventurous. We try to give him every opportunity for a new experience we possibly can. Sometimes we structure the opportunity and sometimes he creates things on his own.

From the “structured” aspect we have tried to give him a lot of opportunities to explore around the water. We are water people, particularly me. My wife enjoys her time at the water but only when it’s warm (not frozen). He’s taken several sessions of swimming lessons and is very comfortable around water. Been fishing several times both on the ice and on the boat. He caught a 20″ northern with grandpa over the 4th of July, mostly him but obviously needing grandpa’s help. This spring/early summer I decided he was ready to hop in the tube behind the boat on his own. Mom was on board with this, others were shocked we would do such a thing. He was super excited to do it. We had his life jacket on and I was driving the boat on a slower weekend at the lake. My speed was also very slow, just enough to get him moving. He loved it, which is what we hoped for. Create a positive experience in a place we enjoy. Grandpa took me and Layton behind his boat tubing over the 4th of July, on separate tubes; he went a bit faster than I did, at Layton’s request. It was great until Layton started getting sprayed in the face with water from the rope. Overall a positive experience so we were both happy. When Layton was done on the tube he got to enjoy watching grandpa throw his son-in-law (me) off the tube. I think he enjoyed that more than riding in the tube, after he knew I was ok.

The other little “experience” he created was the ranch fruit cup. We went out to dinner and ordered Layton’s meal with a fresh fruit as the side. It was a couple varieties of melon and grapes, all of which he loves. His meal also came with ranch dipping sauce for his chicken. Unbeknownst to us, it was not for the chicken. It was for the fruit. I don’t mean a little dip of the fruit and a bite. It was a full on combination of both cups into one. All the fruit dumped into the ranch, then submerged. Watching him eat this was entertaining as well. Full palm grab of each fruit piece from the depths of the ranch cup, into his mouth. He devoured all the fruit. We’ll be recommending this as a standard side offering to the restaurant. The next night at home was raw carrots and ketchup. I give him props for creativity.

Lastly, we’ve had to start dealing with the biting phase of toddlerhood. It’s actually been ongoing for the last two months. Randomly at bedtime we will discover massive bite marks on Layton when changing him into his pajamas. Two have been on this upper arm near the shoulder, one on his elbow, and the other on his ankle. He attends daycare so you would think if a child is bitten they would inform the parents of both children. Apparently they didn’t find the need to inform either party for three of the four occurrences. We’ve had several discussions with them now that it is unacceptable for the lack of awareness on their teachers’ part. The child who was doing the biting has moved on from Layton’s classroom but not without confirming to Layton that biting is ok because there is no response to it. By that I mean Layton has now bitten another child. That happened just this week. Thankfully we were made aware of it when it happened and the circumstances around the offense which gives us the opportunity to educate him on proper behavior regarding sharing and what to do when frustrated. It also allowed the teachers in his classroom to help him learn. I understand that biting is a common outlet in the toddler stage, but being able to address is as important if not more important than simply understanding it is common in that stage. To those of you wondering why we’ve stuck with the daycare after three instances of not reporting a bite, it’s quite simple for us. Selfishly, it’s convenient for us. For Layton’s sake, he is comfortable there. He knows his teachers and enjoys them. He also enjoys the other children in his classroom, some he has been there with since he was 6 weeks old. Finally, Layton has a very challenging time being dropped off in the morning. We are finally at a point where he is ok with being dropped off in his classroom and knowing it’s ok to be there without mom or dad. It’s taken us almost two years of daycare to get to this point. It is better for us to work with the daycare than disrupt a good thing we’ve worked to get to. I don’t need to explain myself though, I’m his parent. The explanation might help others facing a similar situation though.

Until next time, enjoy the ranch fruit cup!

Pints with Pops – October 2017

Posted on October 10, 2017July 25, 2018 by Pints with Pops

The source of my stories varies from month to month, but they have always been my experiences with Layton; something he does, things I see him do, feelings I have from something he does, or because I did something stupid related to fatherhood and need to share that with the rest of you.

This month’s source and story is a bit different. Something entirely beyond anyone’s control happens and those circumstances drive emotions and it needs to be talked about, for the good of everyone.

I need to share this story, but choosing the right words has been difficult. I’ve rewritten this several times and come up with this; I hope you can appreciate the difficulty in sharing a story like this.

One week ago our family lost a friend. Not someone incredibly close, but a friend none-the-less. More devastatingly, one week ago a husband lost his wife and two little girls lost their mother. She was 29, younger than me and many of you reading this. In the blink of an eye, life changes forever. Cancer sucks. It was a brief but courageous battle, from diagnosis until now not even 6 months. A dad and father left without his partner. Two young girls will endure the frustration of needing their mother at times and not be able to do anything about it. You can do the math on everything else this family will be challenged with as the days turn to years. Tears are streaming as I write this.

Why did I share this with you? You don’t know this family. I don’t want you to cry with me or feel bad for this family. They are incredibly strong and have an amazing support system. But the scary truth is this could be any of us or someone we know and love. What I ask of you is to take a step back from everything that’s pulling you away and take a few moments to think about your family. Give them an extra hug, play in the yard a few minutes longer, give them a call, or just sit there with them a little while longer; let them know you love them. We are blessed with a finite amount of time with them, don’t waste that. As a father and husband it’s a sober reminder to spend and enjoy the time I have with my wife and son.

Pints with Pops – August 2016

Posted on October 4, 2017July 25, 2018 by Pints with Pops

This is the story I shared in August of 2016, I laughed reading through this one and also remembered that knowing that asking for support is not only ok but occasionally necessary:

“After last month’s blow out fiasco I was wondering what story will I share next month in my invite. I’m learning very quickly that having a child, I will never be short of stories. This month’s experience has to do with that same little chair thing mentioned last month. Unsurprisingly, and some of you may have guessed already, another blow out, again while mom was gone. I set Layton in his little chair so I could go get something accomplished, what it was I’m not sure, nor does it matter. I came back not even two minutes later and the dog is sniffing the chair by Layton’s leg. I got the dog away and saw a color that’s not part of the chair. So, I go through the process of getting Layton out of the chair and rush him to the tub hoping not to get any on the carpet. I run back to put the chair up off the floor and the dog is kindly assisting with the cleanup process. I give him a good stare and he stares back knowing he did something he probably shouldn’t have and licks his lips… Seriously. I need to write to Fisher Price about their chair‘s ability to cause infants to poop. Be wary if you own one, you may be in for a messy surprise. After getting Layton cleaned up the day didn’t get much better in terms of his temperament and Grandma/Grandpa were called for reinforcements. I always hoped I wouldn’t need to call for help, but sometimes it gets to be very overwhelming not being able to calm a child. Thankfully for me the grandparents are only a couple minutes away. It was a good learning experience for me that it is perfectly acceptable to ask for assistance when taking care of my child. That got deep fast, my apologies; however it is part of fatherhood.”