Today was picture day at school. The big question in our household was “what will Layton wear for pictures?” Fire truck shirts are currently the only acceptable wardrobe piece for our little man. In an effort to have him look “nice” for his pictures we asked him to pick out a button up shirt from his closet in advance that he would be willing to wear. He did so without a challenge and we hung it on his dresser for today. My wife is typically gone in the morning when Layton gets up, so getting ready and dropping him off are my responsibility. It’s been that way from the beginning so we have a pretty solid routine down. It did not follow the typical routine this morning.

He got up, found me, and asked to read a book. So far so good. After our book I tell him it’s time to get ready for school. I reminded him it was picture day and he should get the shirt he picked out off his dresser. He responds “I no like that shirt.” I reminded him he picked it out and wanted to wear it. “I no like that shirt.” Ok, we’d like you to look “nice” for your pictures at school today, please pick a shirt out from your closet. “Me no like buttons.” Thus begins a lot of me yelling, him saying no, me trying to explain why he should wear a “nice” shirt for pictures, him saying no, me saying we want you to look nice in your pictures, he reluctantly put on a polo still saying no, me yelling, him crying, me yelling, him crying, then I gave myself a timeout. I then thought WTF am I doing? I’m arguing with a three year-old about what shirt to wear for school pictures. Why does that matter at all? Every reason I gave him, which were very few, to wear a “nice” shirt for pictures were completely idiotic and self-serving. The only people who would care what shirt he wore for his pictures were me and my wife. He hasn’t worn a shirt with buttons on since Christmas and before that I couldn’t tell you. We both calmed down and I asked him what shirt he wanted to wear. He said “this one” in a very somber tone, referring to the polo he had on. An incredibly heartbreaking compromise on his part, clearly in an effort to make me happy. We sat in his room for a while. I apologized for yelling, gave him a hug, and told him I loved him. I asked him what shirt do you really want to wear? He went to his drawer and pulled out a fire truck shirt. I said ok, let’s put it on. He was clearly very happy. I was as well. Whether he smiles in his pictures or not is one question but at least I’ll know he is himself in those pictures, not who I wanted him to look like. This may seem small but I am guessing it was huge for him.

Another thought that came to mind from this morning’s episode is why he doesn’t like buttoned shirts. I don’t know if this is the reason but it may make sense on some level. I work in an office environment and wear polo’s and button up shirts everyday. If I am wearing one and it’s not the normal “work time” Layton will ask “why you wearing work clothes?” If he associates those specific clothes with work, which would then mean me leaving him, I could see the deeper connection of him not liking buttoned shirts. Maybe I’m thinking too deep on it and he simply likes fire truck shirts that much. Either way this morning brought some needed perspective.